


Breathe In and Hold

by softestlad



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, M/M, Scared Aaron Dingle, Scared Robert Sugden, True Love, episode coda, fear of separation, scared author tbh, sex as denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 17:35:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20429819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softestlad/pseuds/softestlad
Summary: The door opened. It didn’t slam wide, or creak bashfully – it just opened, and Aaron framed by the doorway made a breathtaking picture, if not a pretty one. His face was stained with tear tracks, eyes shining. Bluer than blue against the redness. God what a day.A day he’d have over and over if it was the only way to stay here with him.Episode coda to 28/08/19.





	Breathe In and Hold

Robert didn’t know what to expect, sitting on their bed, listening to Aaron’s steps come up the staircase. His face was pinched from the few tears that escaped at the hurtful words his husband spat at him earlier – no less than he deserved. Robert had been known to crow about preferring verbal violence, knowing how good he was at it, crafting the perfect barb from spite and _twisting._ But Aaron. It was just like him, wasn’t it?

Always playing down his talents.

The door opened. It didn’t slam wide, or creak bashfully – it just opened, and Aaron framed by the doorway made a breathtaking picture, if not a pretty one. His face was stained with tear tracks, eyes shining. Bluer than blue against the redness. God what a day.

A day he’d have over and over if it was the only way to stay here with him.

*

Aaron stepped into their room, his throat and the skin of his face taut with crying. Why, in the name of God did he have to spend so much of his time crying? He had clawed and scraped for every last bit of this happiness, this family. But it never lasted. Why did nothing good ever last?

Robert perched, uncertain of his welcome in their room, on _their _bed. There were times when Aaron would look at him, kissed by the August sun, and see his own version of a golden god – something too beautiful and singular to be touched by mechanic’s hands. Scrapper’s hands. Hands that were made to take things apart should be nowhere near Robert, not really. But that was only sometimes. For right now, Aaron looked at Robert and saw a man.

His man.

“Aaron, I – “

“Don’t – “ Aaron rasped. He was so tired of crying, tired of worrying, tired of having another person who couldn’t respect _no _tearing through their life together like a wrecking ball. “I’m sorry – just don’t, just – “

Aaron didn’t take steps towards Robert so much as he gravitated into his orbit. Collapsed and collided with him. Robert stood, meeting him half way, reeling him in.

“Touch me, Robert,” Aaron ground out, hands going straight for Robert’s belt, tried not to hear the clink of handcuffs in the noise it made as the buckle hit the ground. Robert’s hands glided up Aaron’s shoulders, over his neck. Aaron craned his head and Robert slotted in, his mouth where it should always be. His lips soft against Aaron’s skin. Pulse to pulse.

Robert’s hands held on at Aaron’s shoulder’s, a slight press down to keep him on the ground, but it wasn’t enough. Aaron pulled back and all but wrenched Robert out of his shirt, then tore himself out of his own. Everything about this hurt.

“Hey,” Robert murmured. Aaron wound his arms around Robert’s waist, pulled him until their chests were flush together, skittered his touch across Robert’s back like skipping stones across a lake. His chest was heaving, his breath forfeit. When did Aaron ever have time to just _breathe. _Always a sob, always a laugh unappreciated, always the wind being knocked out of him when the rug got pulled out. “Hey, slow down, ssh.”

Aaron slowly stopped scrambling.

“Robert.” It scraped like gravel. Gravel and salt. “Please touch me. You’re – “ Aaron shuddered, let Robert shush and ground him. Popped the button on Robert’s jeans, let Robert lay him down. He caged his legs around Robert’s hips.

“Aaron, Aaron I’m so sorry.” He cradled Aaron’s cheek in his hand forehead creased with lines, eyes as green as the other side Aaron had heard so much about. His chest heaved in a counter rhythm to Aaron’s, pushing against each other like if they kept that close the universe would have to glance away and let them break the boundaries. Irrelevant skin, heart to heart. Aaron grasped desperately at Robert’s back, up to his hair, back down. How could something this solid do anything but last?

“You’re the problem I want, Robert,” Aaron said, a not-apology, a not-_ILoveYou. _“Always.”

Robert fell into him, then later pushed into him, rocking his hips slowly but powerfully. Over and over, they made waves. Aaron clung tight, a few tears slipping out he was far too tired to wipe away. He made himself feel it, to really be there. To feel his husband against him, with him, inside him. Intense. Slow.

Making it last.

**Author's Note:**

> lets be honest am i ever not crying in the club rn
> 
> sorry if there are any mistakes, i really spilled this one out lol


End file.
